Grandparents

I know there is a recurrent theme here regarding how often I post. :-)

The issue I have had lately regards Grandparents and their role in the raising of grandkids.

This is truly a personal issue so I welcome thoughts and comments from anyone that has had experiences with this or who is currently dealing with it.

I am hesitant to use the word meddlesome, but that is almost exactly what I am talking about. Granted, my kids' have grandparents close and grandparents far away. But when either set is around I truly feel as if I should just disappear as long as they are around my kids.

I have had many discussions with my husband, my mom and recently an all out fight with my dad and strained relations with my husbands' parents.

All of these relationships were solid before we had kids, so that is why I feel it has to do with me and what I do or don't do in regards to raising my kids.

My dad was bold enough on Father's Day as to say "I have just started" when I said that I didn't need help raising my kids. It started because my mom and my daughter were playing around at the table in a restaurant we were at celebrating Father's Day; I am currently trying to teach her at home not to throw things on the floor. I.e., cups, food, napkins, etc. Well, from my vantage point, it looked like she had thrown something on the floor, so I "fussed" at my mom, (after I fussed at my daughter, of course!) for letting her get carried away and throw something on the floor. Well, in turns out I jumped the gun and she hadn't thrown anything on the ground. After I said something to my mom, my dad jumped in to the fray and didn't mince too many words.

This is just one example of the types of things that go on with me and both sets of grandparents. They feel as if they need to stick their two cents in whenever possible and I feel totally threatened by that. My daughter is 2 and I don't want her to see either sets of grandparents "overriding" me in any way. I feel very strong about that. I told my mom later that I want the grandparents to "complement" my husband and I. Notice the spelling. :-) I don't mean compliments.... :-)

I always feel like I am in the way when the grandparents are around. My husband will not talk to his mom. What to do???? I don't want things to continue to get worse because then my kids will see the tension and feel it. On the other hand, I can't just roll over and play dead when they are around. I feel that as a parent, I need to continue my role when I see things that aren't kosher with me or my husband and I think the grandparents should acknowledge that and abide by it. I know I would!

CRAZY!!

Right now I am hearing Patsy Cline's "Crazy" playing in my head. That describes my life in the past 2 weeks since I have last posted.

Where to begin.... well, after our long road trip over Memorial Day weekend, what with trying to become a WAHM, finding time to play/teach my kids and taking care of other family matters, the days are all a blur.

Tomorrow I will have my nephew along with my almost 2 year old and my 6 month old; my nephew is almost 1 1/2 years old. So, I do believe my house will be utterly destroyed! But, my daughter really enjoys having him over, they are extremely cute together. He is babbling whereas my daughter is not, so when she hears him start "talking" she chimes in and it is just toooo funny!

Last weekend my mom totalled her car in a single car flip-over accident. That was the scariest thing ever! I have never actually envisioned my life without my mom (Grandma to my kids) and it definitely shook me! I am still trying not to think about it too much. Needless to say it shook her a little too! She is alright, but just a little nervous driving. A little bruised/banged up, but she will be fine, thank God!

I will end on a positive note.

My daughter is constantly inspiring me. Everytime we go anywhere and she sees a person, she never fails to give a huge smile, wave and say HI! It is so inspiring, sometimes we adults forget to smile, wave and say HI!

I am not lost

I have been remiss in posting as of late. I am still here and I am not lost--at least not yet!

We took a really log 850 mi trip over the Memorial Day weekend with 2 kids in tow. We split the trip up into 2 days driving up and 2 days driving back. That split was a lifesaver but it did make it even longer, seemed like we would never get home. We had a nice weekend as I hope everyone did.

I have to say I was really proud of my kids, they behaved really well in the car. We made frequent stops to stretch our legs and let my 22 mo old daughter run around a bit, but I was
extremely surprised how easy the trip went. We sang some songs and slept, other than that we didn't do a whole lot in the car. Stopping overnight gave everyone a chance to get out of the car and stretch out to sleep which I think really helped my 5 mo old. He slept like a baby! :-)

There has been a lot going on since my last post but to recall any of it, I would be hard pressed.
We had some family situations going on with an aging grandmother (great - grandmother to my kids). But everything seems to be settling down now.

I did have one thing stick in my mind from over the weekend visiting with my in-laws.

My father-in-law said to my son "I hope you have a chance to go to highschool one day". I thought that was comical, he was referring to our homeschooling decision. I was taken aback, but only for a minute. My husband and I are steadfast in our decision, even though we have had very little support from our families. But to say to a 5 mo old, "I hope you have a chance to go to highschool one day", I was surprised. To me, highschool wasn't all that! But, after that, there should be college and that is what I hope for my kids! My hope for my kids is that they develop a love of learning that I think is really hard to develop in the school systems. I am not saying that it can't happen, but generally it doesn't. The teachers just don't have the time to devote to one child like a parent does. I just wish more people took the time to understand homeschooling instead of automatically acting like we want to keep our kids stupid or something. We are going to homeschool our kids but not necessarily school our kids at home, there are a lot of ways to learn in this wide, wide world we live in!

I believe I have mentioned before my questioning the social skills of my kids since I stay home with them and they are not in daycare, I have to say that I can finally put that to rest.

My daughter was among 5 or 6 other kids she had never met before and she fit right in! I was so proud, she isn't the least bit shy or afraid to approach and mingle with people/kids she doesn't know. :=-) She was also one of the better behaved as well, a true testament to all the hard work us SAHM's do.



My daughter is the one standing up. :-)